Dating my old teacher

Are you currently dating your former high school teacher? 4, Views My high school music teacher had a student that was particularly bright. After she.
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Actual ethics often take a back-seat to any often biased and unfair cultural standards as defined by parents, other faculty, or outside pressure. My bachelor advisor was in a similar situation. Although he is a CS professor while the student was a math major, so same department but different degree areas.

I believe they started dating before she graduated, and got married a few years afterwards. I don't see any sign that this was frowned upon from other department professors. Clark k 23 Point 3 is important.

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I know people who started dating their student, or even getting into marriage with them, and that's fine here. And then I know people who've been dating almost 10 students in the past years, and that's not fine to anybody but the students who get good grades and easy work Possible perception of conflict of interest if it came to e. I was reading the situation as saying that the potential datee is really out of academia entirely It seems clear that in this situation the best solution is simply not to write letters for someone you have dated.

If you taught that person one course, that really should not be a problem. Clark May 22 '16 at I don't think age difference is such a taboo, at least not in my experience. There are other inaccuracies in your answer, but this one is simply nonsense. DanRomik, would you be willing to write a strong letter of recommendation for an ex-girlfriend who cheated on you and broke your heart?

But that doesn't mean it would be unethical for me to date her, which is what you implied in your answer. I don't understand why this is so highly upvoted and barely downvoted. It feels tangential at best and quite misleading at worst. This is not unethical. How does this address the ethical implications?


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Just because it seems unfair to you not to do it doesn't mean its ethical to do it. There are many situations in life where one has to step back and put ethics above the personal gain.

Starting a relationship with a former student?

In this case, society would not be right to expect a professor abide by this particular proposed restriction. The protection gained is minimal to non-existent, and individual personal burden inflicted is significant. Demanding that a person doesn't date would be undue Tyranny of the majority. If society disfavors undue oppression, and doesn't restrict, then the professor is left with the right.

We're both in our twenties now and our 'relationship' I guess could say only started last year the end of my second year of university but he's still at the same school. During my time at school everything was completely above board and we only had brief contact over school email for the first 18 months or so. He loves where he works, and I don't want to jeopardise his future there but we're struggling to resist what we have.

So, if, hypothetically anybody found out, what would be the worst case scenario? Many thanks, An adult who just wants to be with another. Anonraven , Jul 4, Can't see an issue. It's none of the school's business. Compassman , Jul 4, Why the sneaking round? No need for it. You are, as you rightly say, both adults.

I now work with some of my old teachers, I am in my 30's and they are now significantly older than when they taught me when I was at secondary school.

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Would you date your former student | A to Z Teacher Stuff Forums

It's a bit weird at times and I struggle with calling my old form tutor by her first name but other than that, it's totally fine. Did he teach you or was he just a teacher at your school? Flere-Imsaho , Jul 4, A few tongues might wag but I think the key is you are both in your 20s so above the water line of danger. If it has an impact on his career, its the school with the problem, not him as long as the relationship genuinely started AFTER you were out of sixth form, the longer the gap the better! It might be worth him letting someone in school know - eg his line manager if he trusts them not to overreact.

That would just be so that if some garbled rumour "Mr X was out with a pupil last night" comes in, they are aware of the situation.

Now I am left with the fear that knowledge of this tryst will circulate, and if it does, I know I deserve it. I very well may lose my job.

What do you think of teachers dating former students?

I probably deserve to lose my job. I know that nothing like this will ever happen again; but what I am looking for, I suppose, is the reaffirmation of my decision to walk away from someone that I actually do care for. News of this relationship, even if technically legal, would be troubling to parents, teachers, community leaders and members of law enforcement. It is a very touchy area.


  • username ideas for dating sites;
  • ethics - Dating former student? - Academia Stack Exchange.
  • I shouldn't have let it happen. Tell me I was right to break it off!.
  • You may have done nothing wrong in a technical sense. You were no longer the young man's teacher, and he had reached the age of consent, which varies state by state in the U. But you sense that you have crossed some line. The line may be technically blurry but in your heart it is quite clear: